How I Roll (Is how you should roll too)

   I love sharing my intelligence as you may have noticed before, but I'm not so unattractive as to only be limited to sharing my infinite wisdom. I feel I should share a more in depth view of my lifestyle. Now just in advance it's okay to be embarrassed, I've worked for years on being as cool as possible, it just take practice.
    One of the most important things to remember when becoming cool, is the sheer amount of people in the world, there are billions upon billions of us. You are just a little speck compared to the multitude of humanity that is the planet. Now how does this one little speck that is me stand out, you ask? Well it's quite simple, you have to get  the little specks around you to notice your little insgnificant speck. When I say this, I can't stress how important it is for you to realize, you want the other specks admiration, not disgust. Take scene kids, they walk into a room and you, being the neighboring speck immediately notice them. But does it make your little speck want to get close to their little scene speck? no, no it doesn't. Your little speck wants to vacate the area and maybe give that punk a proper haircut.
   So, attractive followers, take the scene kids to heart don't become a repulsive speck. But how do I become an attractive speck, you ask? oh dear reader you have so many questions. It's quite easy actually, you first have to say you do something interesting. Take me for example I say I skydive, now isn't that cool? What hobby can say is your own, do you play piano? (make sure it's a cool instrument if you choose music), maybe you're a snake charmer? or a therapist/analyst? no matter what you say just make sure it's interesting.
   No you have a cool hobby/job, but do you have a cool look? Once again this is is extremely easy, I would just say to wear a suit. But who has the money to buy a suit when they're being cool? This is the main reason ripped jeans were invented. It's like photo-shop for uncool people, they charge more for less fabric that's so hardcore. And of course the only thing hardcore people wear are skull shirts (Hot topic has a fine selection of these shirts for  those unacquainted with where to find such cool clothing).
  Right now if you have followed my steps exactly you've moved up the social ladder to the position of poser. This final step to cool however takes a huge commitment, to be truly cool you have to not give a shit about anything...ever. I mean look at that I just swore in a blog that everyone can see, that's so coo. Now what steps are you going to take to be cool? Swearing on the internet may be a good start, but it's a sum of all small things that adds up to not giving a shit. For example do you comb your hair? stop that, how about brushing your teeth? stop that too, normal human contact? stop that entirely (just grunt at everyone). Pretty much anything you do daily that involves an inordinate amount of brain activity or movement you should stop.
    This isn't so hard readers, don't screw it up or we may have a larger pool of unattractive readers. I mean I'm cool already, and who could you trust more than a non-shit-giving anti-establishment skydiver?

Fair Warning

  Hello and welcome to my blog, assuming you are attractive. As you can see, I myself am incredibly attractive and have thoughts only those who share my condition can understand. Now those among us who have avoided beauty may still "Read" this blog but may not understand the finer points of my ramblings.To put it simply those of you who are good looking you will get my high caliber thoughts, and embrace them with the sensuous tentacles of knowledge you have developed, but those who disagree can only be described as unattractive and can't understand the high intellectual level of our attractive readership.
  You of course, know this is all true, because it's on the internet. Which we all know has very high publishing standards. My relatives are possibly the best examples of this embracing the truth that is the internet, and spreading the good word of those few souls who populate this vast cyberspace. The even preach the teachings of these individuals all over my inbox, in fact I had to make a new e-mail account just to keep one full of interesting facts, statistics, and cats.
  While I wrote this post I though of all these interesting facts my grandparents had shared with me , I was overwhelmed with all the topics I could possibly write about. I could've plunged into the deep conspiracy involving poisonous rainbows in our water, the obvious facade the Government is for the Illuminati power structure, or Tupac Shakurs obviously faked death (All Eyez On Me, very telling song, why would he rap about the attention he garners as a rapper, he's dead, no one can look at him in a coffin, unless...he is still alive.). But these buried beacons of truth were all so good, I just decided to spread the good word of the denziens of the internet to you fellow attractive men and women. Stay classy cyberspace stay classy.